As a teenager, I struggled in school. My faith in myself was at an all time low and my short life had consisted of numerous struggles that had left me doubtful and resentful.
School meant little to me. I found greater success in socialization with my peers. I received the instant gratification and reassurance that I was likable and worthy. My peer group held the same ideals that I myself held to. None of us had many aspirations other than having a good time and living in the moment.
I barely graduated from high school and spent the next three years of my life in search of one party after another. My life changed dramatically when I became pregnant at the age of twenty. In an effort of valiance, my then boyfriend of two months agreed to marry me. Without considering the ramifications of the lifetime commitment of raising a child, we went about planning our wedding in the same vain that we lived our lives. It was all fun and games. When my daughter was born, we were forced to grow up a little. United with the love for our child, my husband and I pledged to be the best parents possible.
I threw myself into raising my daughter and then my son, born four years later. I thrived in the role of a mother and found joy in the giving and nurturing of my children. In the next few years, my husband and I became foster parents and welcomed three foster children into our home. I had found my niche and wanted nothing more than to give to others and nurture those who lacked the same self-love that I had been without for so many years.
When my children were old enough to attend school, I took a job working with Autistic children. I have been working with these special children for the past eight years. I couldn’t be happier. It is a pleasure to work with these children and they enrich my life on a daily basis. My own children are confident and happy. I take great pride in their accomplishments which are many.
The most valuable lesson that I have learned in my journey of self awareness is that we all have a calling in life. We all have the choice to find ourselves and we all have the choice to act upon our findings. The rewards of “giving and sharing” are momentous beyond comparison. I made a choice to give as much as I can of myself, for as long as I am here on Earth. That choice has made all the difference in my life.
